If you've been reading my posts you know that my life is pretty much an open book. If it helps just one person then I don't mind opening up. But lately I've been stuck, mired in grief, a dose of self pity and worry about my 4 year old grandson. 

I'm borrowing trouble because my grandson is doing fine for now. But as is my nature I think ahead and wonder when or if it's going to dawn on him to feel guilty about pulling the trigger that took his Daddy from us. He does know he did it. What effect might it have on him if it does happen?

His mother has done an outstanding job with him, from birth to present. He's mostly happy and completely well adjusted. He's the most loving little boy I've ever known, including his dad. I give that credit to his mother. He is following her example. She has a very sunny outlook on life even though she is devastated by the loss of Justin; the love of her life. But she continues to be warm, caring and generous. She loves unconditionally and is always there for whomever needs her. Her little boy needs her love as do I.  Because of the way she's navigated the past 4 months, exactly, he may come through this unscathed with the exception of missing his Daddy. 

I have no real friends here in Tampa.  But having my grandson's mother fills that void. Our loss and our worries are mutual.  Keep on being you, Jessica. I love you too.